Family Reunion

I had a family reunion this week. While I was diverting my attention from what the in-laws were doing. I checked E-mail, and did a little work. A voice from behind the sliding glass door asks me to help with dinner.  Potatoes needed to be mashed. I could have put them off till Jimmy Buffet was done singing "It's five o'clock somewhere." My retreat into work related tasks was being challenged by dinner.

 I don't know if your like me, a master of mixed priorities. I find myself doing what's captured my mind, rather than what I need to do.

• In the short term, potatoes were turning to mush instead of mash. Children play at the pool without a parent. Long awaited snorkeling adventures put on hold-again. 

• In the long term an unguided mind does lots of things poorly. Children have a half present parent. Spouses settle for unengaged relationships. College years turn into memories rather than marketable skills. Great ideas fade into could've and should've.

We need time to work, time to play, time to love, and time to worship. Often various passions compete for attention. We forget to focus on direction rather than fickle thoughts of the mind. So here is what I learned while mashing mushy potatoes. Figure out what moment your in and live in that moment as best as you can. 

Training Video

Jury Duty

This week I have the privilege of serving as a juror. Yes I got the paper and showed up. I charmed my way right into the juror's seat. Before they select you, they ask a battery of questions. Most of which filter out people with biases. The court tells you that, serving in the Jury system is critical to what America stands for. When you walk in the room everyone stands in your honor. It's a pretty important roll. Here is the ironic part. When a case is being deliberated jurors must only consider evidence when rendering a verdict. We can NOT think about the further implications of our actions. Such things as will the defendant lose a job, or serve hard time. But at Relevant it’s like the roles are reversed. No one stands when volunteers walk into serve at church. But we are very much so deciding peoples fate by serving at Relevant. We must keep that in mind as we serve. The court battles for the jurors’ attention.  The hearts of the world are begging for attention. The question is, will we rise to the occasion.

My chubby 1 year old cuts through silent chaos to remind daddy to love.

I guess that often you have days like mine. Days where you tell the wife, "hey I will be home in an hour", and that hour turns into two. Well recently I had one of those where I called Carly with my intended arrival and could hear the kids in the background grinding away at her patients. 

When I finally arrive home, late, I notice dinner sitting coldly on the counter. Carly was finishing the boys bath.  I could tell I was walking into tense moment. Dinner was reheated and plates abruptly put on the table. Each boy was put in their seat. 

Carly and I both had one of those days and shared very little in way of conversation. You know kids never just behave. Each screaming their own dinner objections. Ethan whines about his nuggets and choice of juice cup. Connor pushes away his bottle. Carly and I fire back with frustrated grunts and a "just sit there". Carly hands Connor a musical greeting card to keep him busy. Ethan continues his protests.  

Then in an unexpected moment of silence Connor, my chubby one year, old opens the greeting card. The first utterance of noise encouraged Conner's biggest smile. The song begins to play " All my love my darling, I hunger for your touch." I began to feel again. My eyes warmed with emotion. Just about cried on that one. 

See this was the card left over from Mother's day. It seems lessons memorialized on such a day can be forgotten so quickly. My son helped me remember how much I love the one who does so much.

Unexpected smiles

Every Sunday I find myself in the smile business. I encourage greeters to welcome people into our church. Some their first time in church.  Churches are so concerned with a welcoming atmosphere they spend millions on environments and higher staff to make sure people feel comfortable. 

Yet, I found myself at an event that correlated with our current series, swetin to the 80's. An 80's skate night.  Complete with a costume contest, and couples skate. Being the 80's generation the staff loved the idea. As of last Sunday we had a few sign-ups for the event and even if it flopped at least we would have some fun. 

People started trickling in on a Tuesday night. Most adorned with some sort of 80's garb. Some went over the top. Shaved mullets, incredibly tight leather pants, and who can forget all the neon. Heres who I didn't expect to show up. People who were barely alive in the 80's and adults who were past there prime in the 80's. We had them both, and everybody in between. People who had never skated and those who had some left over skills strutted their stuff. 

As the night wore on I realized the greatest phenomena, Smiles. Real legitimate smiles. Our age group is so jaded. We find hope in our pessimism. We rejoice in failure. But of this brief moment all the oil prices faded. For a brief moment the election was forgotten. People were having fun. I guess we all get used to being happy enough to think everything is all right. When was the last time we just had a blast? Tuesday, May 20th at 6:30pm.

The last Lecture

This is the story I might have told some of you about. Its all over the internet, Oprah and 20/20.  The part that really hit me is telling the truth. Not that I like lying is easy but difficult conversations need to happen. Often I wonder how much more I would lay it all out on the table if I had nothing to loose. The long version is worth watching. But the short version from Oprah or 20/20 gives a fair summery of his story. Randy's non-spiritual truths make me look at where I spend my time. 

 

Enjoy the long version.

Enjoy the short ABC Version ....Great....

You'll shoot your eye out.

My wife and son return home from Target where somehow he received a reward of a toy. In fact two squirt guns. His first sentence to me was " these are for the pool and you can't point them at people." Shortly there after Dad and Ethan go out side to play with these weapons of mass amusement. Mom is off on another errand. After watering the garden with the guns dad's squirter turns to Ethan's legs. Oops did I do that? Dad asks. Before long dad and son are in an all out squirt war. Ethan says "We just can't get my jammies wet."  Soon there after Mom returns only to see dad and son covered in water. Most can guess where this goes, mom runs for cover as her men lob gallons of liquid fun in her direction. 

Some rules are made to be broken. Guns are serious and safety adds sobriety to many moments between father and son, but breaking free from rules together is liberating. Dad catches himself when he sounds like a personal injury attorney rather than adventure mate. 

In a final moment of rule breaking dads squirt gun runs out of WATER. What to do. Ethan offers his remaining squirts in turns. We proudly stood as civil war combatants, each taking turns shooting at the other with bursts of laughter in-between.

30 Day Sex Challenge Guide

GG Spring Welcome

The Least You Could Do

Tomorrow's ran out Thursday

I have a friend from community college that has been ill for a while. His diabetes broke his body down to the point of needing a multi organ transplant. His battle for survival seemed to linger for ever. We talked infrequently but I knew I ought to call more often. Recently I sent him a copy of my crazy story in the news. Here is his response.


From: kmburkett1@comcast.net
Subject: RE: Jamie Adair-in the newspaper
Date: November 19, 2007 4:25:26 PM EST
To: Paganlover@aol.com

Way to go Jamie. Good for you. I'm proud of you! Takes some guts to stand up for the right thing and that you did. Awesome!

Anyhoo, nothing much here is going on. I'm still waiting for the call for the transplant. You'll be one of the first I contact when the call does come in though. Hope all is well with you and everything is going great. If I don't speak to you before them, have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Hope to hear from you soon, old friend.
Kevin

-----Original Message-----
From: James Adair [mailto:Paganlover@aol.com]
Sent: Sunday, November 18, 2007 4:58 PM
To: James Adair Subject: Jamie Adair-in the newspaper


I printed this out and taped it to my wall to remind me to call Kevin more often. Kevin lost his fight on Thanksgiving day. Why don't we do things we know we should do. What is more meaningful; returning stolen goods or calling your "old friend". Life happens every day. I guess making life count daily is more important than counting the days of life.
OBIT

The craziest thing that has ever happend to me.

I am switching to a Mac. Yes leaving the broken world of PC to a system that just works. But I am a cheap man. I started looking on Craig's list for a slightly used system. Some might cringe at the notion, but no one is stepping up to buy me one either. I found a great deal, $750 for a one generation old system. I offered $550.00 to make the hassle of dealing with a used system worth my time. Initially the seller emailed rejecting the offer but later accepted. The seller's email instructed me to contact his in town friend to make the purchase. I told the seller I would and also provided my cell number. Weird but the "in town friend" called me within minutes to arrange a meeting.

The next day I brought my Mac genius friend to check the computer out with me. Got to make sure it works, right. We meet the "in town friend" at his work just outside of down town and drive him to his house. After a battery of tests on the recently cleaned machine my friend looks in the system profile for the name of the computers owner. The name that appeared was not that of the "in town friend" or "out of town seller". When asked about the name the "in town friend" said he had gotten the Mac from his friend and had checked his mail on it a couple of times. With no system disks and open questions as to actually ownership I told him we would be in contact.

I remembered that he mentioned his girlfriend at UT and his "out of town friend" the seller went to UT also. I figured that he might have permanently borrowed this computer from a UT student. Another guy in my office says I should check face book for the possible victim's name. Guess what, the possible victim did have a face book account and lived in Tampa.

I called campus security and asked if they kept records of thefts on campus. After a dismissive operator told me that is confidential info, I told her I might know where stolen goods are. She passed me along to the night time security guy. He took the important info; possible victim's name from the Mac, and Mr. Thief's info: names, phone, address, and email, said he would call me back. I thought for sure this was the end of the story. 10 Minutes later the phone rings with a dumbfounded campus security officer. "Your right on the money; the computer went missing a few days ago." I am going to get on the phone with Tampa P.D. and you call "Mr. Thief" to buy the machine.

Dialing phone, ring, answer "Hello" "Mr. Thief, I found the system disk and want to buy that computer" I said. He replied that he already had another buyer, I could barely hear him because some sirens rang out in the background. I told him to call me if that sale does not go through and that I still wanted it.

I called campus security back with the report and the idea came up to offer more money. "Mr. Thief what if I paid you $700 for the computer? Can you call the other buyer and tell him your selling it to me instead?" "Mr. Thief" then calls this other buyer, to get a better price out of him I guess, but he could not get him. "Mr. Thief" calls me back" Hey, man I only have the other buyers home number and could not get him. He is on his way here to meet me now. I am at this intersection where an accident took place so he might be held up." I told him "let me know what happens."

By this point, Tampa PD contacted me getting an updated story. All I could tell them was "Mr. Thief was selling to another buyer as we speak and if you want to catch him you could check the police scanner for an accident in Tampa Heights. I just heard sirens in the background no more than 10 minutes ago." Tampa PD asks, "What's he look like?" "He is a white guy with really big ear rings. Like 50 ring gage." I told them.

I was on my way to Jimmy Buffet, soon to forget the entire day, especially the part about missing out on a half price computer. The phone rings again. "Tampa PD here, We got him. He had the stolen property with him."

After seeing the computer this entire exchange occurred in under 3 hours. Pretty crazy ey.

Here is the article

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/11/17/Hillsborough/Between_duplicity_and.shtml

Front page ayout

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/11/17/timesfront/Times_1A.pdf

Story from the UT Student Paper

http://media.www.theminaretonline.com/media/storage/paper1025/news/2007/11/16/NewsFeatures/Ut.Security.Tpd.Set.Up.Craigslist.Sting.Return.Students.Stolen.Laptop-3101590.shtml

People learn what they want to learn not what they need to know.

A few things I have learned while trying to select study material for people in order to grow their faith. After sizing up spiritual weaknesses, I can come up with a good study list. Stuff people need to know. For instance a broke man might need to learn about managing money. What about a husband who needs to communicate more often with his wife. But what does the poor man choose the beatitudes or the book of James. The inattentive husband picks a business or leadership study.

We give groups options as to what they are going to study. Our group attendance has never been higher, people are more optimistic. This looks great. I just wonder if focusing on the growth opportunity areas is the wrong way to go. Is the notion of a spiritual Renaissance man foolish.

An even better question to me is, where in my life do I need to learn a lesson of two. Where am I choosing to spend my learning time. What study should I be looking at?

Are you listening?

Many times in a meeting, suggestions are offered as to how to fix a problem. You know how it goes " hey you should fix your marriage." Or " You should provide more depth for church people." Some times the person receiving input gets this glossed over face. You know full well their ain't now way they are going to actually do what you are telling them. For me it's when some one tells me about a book I ought to read. Like I got time to read a book about your interest. I usually say read it into a tape recorder for me and I'll listen. When do you decide who is worth listening to and who needs to be blown off? Really. People with answers to our problems are out there. We keep listening to the wrong answers.

How do we find these answer people? Find someone who has been there and done that. COPY THEM FIRST. Then tweak the idea. Get some momentum built by winning small battles. Don't eat the entire elephant in one sitting. Get your mind straight. Get your plan together. Begin.

Comfortably Wrong

My local grocery store has this nifty machine that filters water seven different ways. Weekly, I fill twenty gallons of water for my salt water aquarium. My fish need untainted water for survival.


I thought wouldn't this machine be great in countries without wells or any clean water. Just plop it down in the desert, and line the village up. My friend Stephanie told me about the process for educating villagers on healthy sanitation and well drilling. The process is overwhelming to say the least.




Am I to comfortable to do anything about fresh water in developing countries? Is my time and money more valuable to me than people I will never meet? Are my efforts better spent in areas where I have greater influence?



Here is the funny part. Lots of people take up a cause, rattle cages, and look down on everyone else for not holding their same view. This kind of arrogance follows a segment of people from every cause, (Especially home owners associations). All to often I find some people have a hard time talking as they walk. Me included.


The better question might be will I stay comfortably wrong in my every day life? Will I talk to my parents more often? Will I come home earlier and play with my boys rather than sit on the couch? Will I offer the back rub or expect the usually? Usually the usual is pretty nice.


In the words of Eddy Murphy, "What have you done for me lately?" At least acknowledge when your comfortably wrong. Maybe one day some-one will become uncomfortably right.

Left a message.. is not getting er done.

Many times a project is at hand, and the question is asked where are we on that? The reply, "WELLL I left a message". "I am waiting for an e-mail back from them." My favorite: "Its on cruise control." The emergencies/priorities in our lives are not on the priority stack of other people. Sure, one day we will get a call back. Sure, one day we will get the final report. Answers after the fact or not provided in enough time cripples deals, production, ministry, momentum, and wastes money. Time is too short to wait for a message to be returned. Go knock on the door. Call the number until it's picked up. Send flowers. Pay a neighbor to deliver your message. Force the clutter off their desk. Pleasantly demand their attention.

The world is given to those make things happen not to those who leave balls floating in the air.


My life insurance man keeps calling and leaving messages about additional coverage I requested. I dodge the calls because in those moments I can't talk about my future death and how much it's worth. He has called 3 times a week and left messages 2 times a week; for 6 weeks now. He paged me once, and finally e-mailed me. Then I returned the call. You never know what trigger will get the response. PULL ALL THE TRIGGERS.

Funny things people say?

Recently a small group met to discuss the future of "Hope" in a Postmodern world. One thing leads to another and the following illustration was offered. The illustration paints a picture of how heaven is our "hope". A hope of being fully connected to God and fellow believers.
The kingdom of God is like sex. It is the closest two people can become. In that sexual moment total connection is attained. Being connected with God is much the same. Through our worship and service we create moments of connections while in this Earthly dwelling. However, the final connection with God and other believers is to come. Heaven has no barriers, no stylish jeans, no eye liner, no pride or bravado. We will all be in that "moment of connection together".

Every one is thinking it some one had to say it. ....Orgy?

God love those who are on the journey.

Welcome to the Jungle

Many mistake my misplaced jokes and overall disregard for common social since as a short coming. I see it as a way to level the playing field. Keeping the bar of expectation low works great. This blog will offer meaningful thoughts from my head; even if few and far between. By the way spell check and grammar rules don't apply here, in the ADD zone. Strap in for the ride.